Part 31: How the elves fucked up Azeroth

How the elves fucked up Azeroth

Orc Briefing
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Human Briefing
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Elves. For those of you who haven't followed the thread from Warcraft: O&H, let me give you a quick rundown of these motherfuckers.



Elven magic is the source of everything wrong in Azeroth.

The Well of Eternity existed long before the orcs and humans, and even the elves of the land. It isn't stated exactly that the trolls wandered into the well and became the first elves, and gaining all the pure, raw energy of the well's magic, but it is implied. These first elves are known as the night elves. As such, we will not be discussing them, because that's another game altogether!

No, no, this about the dumb bastards known as the high elves. When Sargeras saw the Well of Eternity and the limitless potential it held, it tricked the most powerful of the night elves, Queen Azshara, into opening a portal to the Twisting Nether. Azshara's loyal followers were the nobility of the elven caste, who considered magic a fun toy to play with; therefore it'd be totally cool to open a portal to the strange new realm. Okay, so Sargeras helped push them along, but nevertheless... Thus begins the War of the Ancients.

These nobles were known as the Highborne, who were absolutely addicted to the power that magic gave them. After the Well was destroyed and the Sundering split the world, the remaining elves placed a ban upon arcane magic, instead converting over to druidism. The Highbourne would have none of that, because you don't go low-cal after you've had the real stuff. The Highbourne then staged a huge magical attack upon their night elf kin, who exiled them for their recklessness/immaturity.

Exiled from the newly formed Kalimdor, the Highbourne begun to wander Lordaeron to find a suitable place to set-up their homeland. Instead they found trolls. Trolls pissed them off. They also were cut off from the Well of Eternity, which caused the Highbourne to suffer from magical withdrawal, as well as "magically transforming" (read: super-retconning) them into shorter, pinker creatures. Of course they had to do something about that addiction.


Anything.

Luckily, the newly formed high elves thought the bring along a vial of water from the Well of Eternity. This allowed them to create the Sunwell which gave them all the power they needed (well, not as much as the Well of Eternity) to fuel their arcane dependence. Of course they still hated trolls. Remember, they set their capital on the ancestral land of the trolls. They were rightly pissed. Rather than talk things out like a respectable elf, they well... they...

Cue the magical explosions that tore through the trolls.